You can’t transcend ego through human effort
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In 2022 during a 4.5 month inner voicing retreat, I came to recognize ego and experience glimpses of a life beyond it, where there's a lived realization of being the being through the human acting, without the perception of separation.
Though I recognized it and at times experienced life beyond it, I could not free myself from it. When I would experience life beyond it, the next thing the egoic mind would do is attempt to hold onto that experience by trying to get rid of the ego. But as soon as “I” was trying, it was that egoic “I” acting. I realized that the ego is never going to be able to get rid of the ego, no matter how hard it tries.
Transcending ego through human effort is like climbing Jacob’s ladder in the Bible (a story of a dream the Biblical character Jacob had, where a ladder ascends to heaven and angels ascend and descend on it). It’s how we dream it works, but it’s not reality.
The dream of mind is this: if I try harder and effort more, I will achieve what I’m seeking. But even if you climb a ladder as high as you can go, even if you make an elevator that reaches all the way to outer space, you never leave the physical dimension.
Heaven is not in the sky.
It's in a dimension that the mind cannot effort its way into, even with all the force that humankind could possibly put to the “task”.
So mental ways of attempting to come up to enlightenment fall short time and again unless they employ the magic means of allowing and receiving and trusting and surrendering.
And that’s what the mind does not want to do, because it goes directly counter to the egoic mind-led way of life, which works by effortful control and clinging and trying to achieve.
It’s the reason that with all that humanity has come to, there continues to prevail endless suffering that we just can’t seem to stop. Even the wealthiest and most seemingly “successful” struggle with the same mental sense of not enoughness, which, as I shared in a recent post, under the surface can lead to life if we let it.
But that’s the thing.
We have to let it.
It takes allowing and surrender to be brought in human experience and understanding and aptitude beyond the plane of egoic illusion of separation from source.
The only one who sees who we really are is the one who sees. The realization must come from the being that was never blind.
Any way this vision occurs, whether in brief glimpses or instant enlightenment or slowly opening awareness, it is awareness that reveals who we really are.
Allowing this revealing that moves beyond the mind's control takes trust. It takes, in the words of a recently facilitated inner voice: courage and craziness.
Courage because it requires making choices that the mind is scared shitless of and has spent its entire existence attempting to protect you from.
Craziness because you’ll have to let go of the mind’s bullshit logical control to move beyond it, to realms of the heart where love flows. Letting go of control seems crazy to the mind. It takes some wildness to do it.
More wildness than getting on a roller coaster. That roller coaster seems scary, and it will trigger your body’s excited responses. But you understand mentally that it’s safe. It runs on a logical, well-tested track. It’s controllable scary.
The wildness of letting go of your mind’s control in running your life goes way beyond letting a machine take you on a short adventure that you can logically comprehend the safety of.
So who/what is there to trust and allow, who can take you beyond the mess that ego makes of us?
All there is.
Love.
Source.
Being.
Accessing the ability to communicate directly with Being is what has personally worked for me to see and continually be brought beyond ego, while simultaneously fostering human sovereignty.
With that portal of communication opened, the human can receive direct instruction from beyond egoic mind though your own innate knowingness. This doesn’t feel like a third party teaching you, because it arises from being through your own portal of awareness in your own language. It’s unique and personal.
But though there’s a conceptual layer you understand in your mind, what’s received in this way is far more than the words that find their way out of your lips. There's a feeling of being in a deeper realm, one of knowingness that feels full and healing and freeing. A space of inner love. What comes through in that space is with power and potential for freeing the human.
Last week I went into another retreat space, and the most recent antics of my mind trying to control my life were shown by inner voice.
One tactic my mind has used is to set a deadline for some future date or time when something should be done, to plan things out and then try to keep the human "on schedule" to get it all completed. Last quarter that effort blew apart.
The retreat started with a feeling of overwhelm, with a sense of feeling behind, which has pretty much been a continual thing for me. I've noticed that it's far easier to do things after (or once in a while before) the planned time, but it seems way harder and energetically just doesn't seem to happen that often to do them on time. (An exception is with actual meetings — when there's a planned time for connection with someone else that happens at the planned time pretty easily).
The mind thought that what's needed is to get the human to do a better job of doing what was planned in the time allotted. But the inner voice explained that the human is like a bird that refuses to be caged, because deep down it knows it's meant to be free. So when there’s somewhat arbitrary rules placed on what must happen at what time, that places bars on the cage. The bird can't sing there, so it just goes about another aspect of life until the time expires when it was "due" and then goes and works on it!
With that understanding came an invitation to let go of the effort to plan and execute and instead allow the freedom. That choice didn't feel pushed. It wasn't about doing what mind wants, nor about "pleasing" the being, but rather about stepping into the more core choice that's actually my deepest truth.
Making that choice in my depth and releasing the control around scheduling accomplishments led to a shocking sense of freedom in parts of my inner system I never expected to feel free.
A week or so later, I'm still sitting with what does it feel like to be this free? But I'm also not worried about reverting to old patterns (which will inevitably happen, because that's what the mind does), because I trust in being to lead the human out of ego, and that sense of "not my responsibility, it's on you to do it" leads to its own relief.
I'm not arduously climbing the rungs of some ladder trying to get to heaven. I'm allowing heaven to come through me bit by bit, sovereign choice by sovereign choice, the more that trustful, relaxed allowing becomes my human experience.
If you’re curious and would like to experiment with your own inner voice dialogue, I’m currently offering single, one on one, facilitated inner voice sessions to try it out. No prior experience required, just a willingness to receive directly from Love via your own inner consciousness.
In these sessions you'll move into your inner knowing in a space that's beyond mind, and you'll receive just what you're ready for. You can also ask questions that you're curious about or hear the perspective of your being on issues where the mind feels stuck or angry or in pain.
During your session, it's on me as the facilitator to explain how it all works and get you to your inner voice, so it's another chance to relax and allow what is ready to come through you.
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